AJ Burnett: Reasons To Thank A Big Bag of D.

Watching AJ Burnett throw baseballs with as much velocity and movement as those launched from your Mosquito League pitching machine provides one of the greatest feelings of jubilation a spectator can experience.

The fact that he does all of this while pitching for the Yankees is not only the icing on the cake, it is also the delicious hard frosting covered cookie piece that somehow ended up on your slice. 

I can remember in December of ’05 when AJ signed with the Jays.  It was the Jays “off-season of optimism,” a full roster overhaul.  JP Ricciardi no longer had to play Beane-esque “Moneyball*” as “Uncle Ted” had opened up his wallet to turn the Jays into legitimate AL East contenders.  AJ was just one of the big names brought in that year, as we also saw new faces in Lyle and the Overbays, Troy “never blink” Glaus, and BJ “pitching?” Ryan. 

With all of these big name acquisitions, it seemed like Ricciardi thought money was going out of style, in fact, I am pretty sure Toronto rapper Drake wrote the lines,

 “It wouldn’t be the first time I done it, throwin’ hundreds
When I should be throwin’ ones, bitch, I run it (Ah)”

About Ricciardi’s off-season spending.  And like the song title, no matter how much JP spent, this season was “Over” before October.

After shelling out $55 million over 5 years, and the first ever player option given to a starting pitcher, AJ rewarded the Jays with a, “sparkling as a toilet bowl after a Taco Bell lunch” season of 10-8 with a 3.98ERA 118K’s in 135.2 innings. 

“Thanks AJ!” Not from me, not from Toronto at all, but from players like Gil Meche, Carlos Silva, Jeff Suppan, Jake Westbrook, Kevin Millwood, and Oliver Perez for driving up the price on mediocre-at-best pitching talents.

When AJ came over, he had a reputation as a .500 pitcher, with lights out potential, and the attitude of Shea Hillenbrand using a locker room wipe board.

When he left, he was a SLIGHTLY above .500 pitcher coming off an uncharacteristic 18 win campaign, with SLIGHT flashes of brilliance, and the attitude of someone who would hate the criticism of NY, and ultimately choke in any game his curveball even SLIGHTLY sucked (which we just refer to as every 5 days now). 

So, “Thanks again AJ!” This time, it is from me, and from the city of Toronto.  Your selfish behaviour in opting out of your contract, and not re-upping with JP’s offer  and crippling our financial resources saved us!  Oh, And also, thank you from Barry Zito, Carlos Zambrano, and Daiuske Matsuzaka, for keeping consistency in $80+ million SLIGHTLY above average talents.

For making us all feel good about where you are at in your career, Thanks AJ. We don't miss you, but we love watching when Brett Cecil owns you, and your Yankees.